I am seriously contemplating changing my email.
The thing is, it's a lot of hassle. Darn.
But maroon_bluejay@hotmail is a by-product of childishness and ohh gah. Too much naivete. Haha. You guys would never guess the story behind my email unless you already know.

Today there was another mission trip meeting, the last before we see each other in Vietnam.
Yes! YESSSSS! -punches fist into air in exultation- Vietnam in 4! See you soon, people, for I'll be goingoingoingone;D heh.
Well today I had a sort of tiff with my cell leader, I guess.
I don't know what's wrong with me, it was partly my fault, I'm sure of it. And well, let's just say that strong-minded people tend to clash like nuts. It's not the first time we've had an argument.
It's just me and that thang with gender segregation.
I hate the fact that I'm so harsh on my own cell group. They are my family, after all.
But what kind of a family is gender segregated?
The guys sit together, the girls in their own group, and the mentors condone it.
What is up with the world jeez?
It doesn't help that on the mission trip they're only the five of us kids.
I have a bad feeling about this trip looming on the horizon. I don't even think anything's going to change between the five of us even after the trip.
Wow, BIG SURPRISE. It'll just be like how it's been the past three years in the cell, I guess.
Gender-ly segregated.
Holy mother, I just can't stand not talking to the guys.
They're not even my friends, they're just churchmates, the hi-bye type of people. And I call them family, and I don't even feel like they really are.
And A.P. asks me why I walk apart from the group all the time.
Hey, give me a break, I try my best.
To talk to the guys, smile to them, look at them and pay attention when they're speaking. I try to extend love and friendship to them, and jeez. Nothing's happening, and by golly, big surprise, nothing's been happening the past three years either, even with prayer requests.
Forgive my sarcasm, I'm pissed.
I just wish I weren't so lonely all the time. Maybe I wouldn't care so much about guys not talking to me and gender segregation.
Sheesh, really, don't mind this post. I go through such phases every once in a while. What's the fun of a blog if you can't vent? (but I play nice too, of course.)


I coached two of my ballet teacher's classes today, G2 and G6.
The G2 girls were okay, only 4 of them, and one of them was just plain attention-seeking. I mean, it's forgivable, and I know I was worse at their age. But she wouldn't stop fiddling with the music player and was easily distracted from doing her dancing. Like trying to be at my every beck and call when I didn't even ask for her to be, that kind of thing. Really quite obsequious, eager to please. Wished she wouldn't do that, had to keep putting her back in her place.
Then the G6s were a different matter. They were kids that were old enough to judge whether they would like you or not. I didn't really care if they liked me, I had my own rules to go by. Like trying to conduct a good class for my teacher because she'd trusted me with it. It wasn't really a challenge. It was just - I wish we (that is, the girls in G6 and I) could've met under different circumstances instead of this teacher-student thing. I didn't really feel like a teacher, and I still don't, not really. I was quite worried of speaking arrogantly to the girls in the class, and had to sorta maintain a balance between sounding firm and sounding just plain mean.
It's hard to strike a balance in life.